Sunday, 22 March 2009

Thought on Relationship Failures.

I remember reading a saying somewhere which said its strange how 2 strangers become friends, & then best friends, then lovers, n then go back to becoming strangers again.
For a lucky few these words might sound a lie coz they are happily married to the once stranger. But for most of us these mere words strike right where it’s meant to strike. And it pains like hell. No matter how much u say or believe that you’ve moved on but you never move on to an extent when the other’s presence doesn’t affect you. At such times even time fails to heal your wounds.

No matter in what circumstances you became apart, (Parents, religion, society, betrayel, misunderstanding), no matter what, a glimpse of the other person brings all those memories right back on your face & with memories brings back all the pain & suffering. With today’s technology it’s not important for someone to be physically present to make us feel their presence. With internet and social networking sites you are everywhere, every time which makes moving on even harder. You tend to come across them every now n then.

At times I don’t understand the human mentality. I’ve come across dozen’s of people whose been dumped & betrayed and they still keep on crying for the one who betrayed them while the betrayer is having a good time. And the worse part is they know you are sad & broken but still they wouldn’t care & take pleasure out of it. They say you are still their friend and they would keep coming on to your face every now n then just to make you realize that you are not good enough for them & like fools you show them that you are broken without realizing the fact that they are just there to rub salt on your wounds. Why would you cry for someone who’s betrayed you? Why would you cry for loosing someone who never or at least now doesn’t love you? Why would you cry for someone who doesn’t need you? Shouldn’t it be the opposite way? The one who betrayed is on the losing side coz he/she lost someone who loved them. I guess none of us have the answers coz we are human. It’s just the human mindset. It’s just that God has designed us to be emotional fools. It’s a feeling that even your best efforts aren’t good enough to win the other.

Actually we all go through this at least once in a life time. We love, we fail, we fall, we stand and then we move on. And then you come across them, then the memories come and then yet another fall and another stand. With time you learn to live with it. And then comes a time when they come and you stand strong. You suppress the pain and show them that it doesn’t really matter if he/she is there or not life still goes on. Then you don’t meet often, you don’t check their social networking profiles anymore and then with time you become almost strangers.

I know this is not all about relationship failures but I also know that majority of us can relate to this.

Saturday, 7 March 2009

When I look Back...

Not long ago I was watching the movie Bluff Master. In the Movie there’s a scene where Boman Irani tells Abhishek. You have lived 30 years of your life but if you look back now can you even count me 30 days that you actually lived? Since then I’ve been wondering if I have at least 24 such moments in my life. Since I'm 24….Lol.

1.Circumcision – What a day it was. I was 7 years old I guess. Was in Sri Lanka. I know the pain the of circumcision. I was running like a Gazelle that day to get away from the people after my thing…Lolzzzz. But then they made the kill. Damn it hurts….

2.Times in Sri Lanka – I spent 8 years of my life in Sri lanka. Theres not much I remember as I was a kid back then. However I do remember few moments.
I was a crazy fan of Robin Hood. I had a bow & arrows. Once I hit a kitten that was like 2 meters away from me. My bro says after that I put that kitten in boiling water later…lolzzzzzz (I don’t remember the latter part)
Once I was chased by a puppy. I cant stand dogs. They scare the shit out of me….i ran n ran n ran….. then I gave up. Turned back n shouted back at the puppy…lolzzzzzz
I saw a body being burnt for cremation. It was the first & last time I saw a body being burnt for cremation.
Me, my bro n my cousin were walking on the road and we saw an alligator crossing the road.
I’ve seen a lot of snake fights. Right in front of my house.
I saw my uncle hitting a flying Mayna bird with a stone. He hit it right on target.
A crocodile had visited the backyard of my uncles house n spoiled all the plants with a swing of its tail.
I used to catch butterflies & helicopter flies.
I witnessed Sinhalese VS Muslim riots.
I held a AK47 in my hand for the first time.
I heard gun shots…they sounded more like crackers.
When I was coming back from school I saw lot of people with swords getting ready for a fight.

3. First Love – Ah! What a feeling. It was in 1999, was more like a hindi commercial movie where you run around tree’s n sing songs, you look at each other from far n pass smiles, you get shivers when she passes by you etc etc... I had pehla nasha playing on my mind the whole time. Fell in love, then the first kiss, then the parents. The only difference is there’s no happy ending here. She is married now..LoL.

4. High School Times – we were the gangsters. We thought we are the guys from Kaante movie. This is when I got the name Ajju (name of sunjay dutt in the movie), we had a munna, sonu, baba, ham god knows who all in the group. We would go to other schools to beat up guys, beat up guys whom we didn't even know…still beat them up just coz a friends asked us to. Someone named us Blood Gang….LoL…
Scare the maths professor with a knife, put mouth freshener in his tea n make it look like poison, bunk classes, sit in the tailors room n watch movies there, kick open the bathroom door when Economics sir was peeing LoL, the girls, feeling like super stars, living up to the notorious image of school, the CBSE clusters where we won no medals but still were the topic of discussion…. By far those were a couple of my best years of life. I used to enjoy the life in Kuwait then…..LoL.

5. High School Love – This is the time when you are struggling to find out if you are an adult or a teen. You use both for your advantage. You think you know everything.
There's nothing quiet like high school love. You make future plans, you behave like adults, you wanna try new things, the possessiveness comes in to play, you feel that you both will be together even after 50 years. I bet if you still are together…you guys are the luckiest. But just like the previous one even this one went down the drain …then this plays an important role in TRIP TO GOA.

6. Ashish is Gay – ask anyone from my high school gang….they know the story. Ashish a funny guy who makes others laugh at somebody elses expense. People who make jokes on others cant really bare it when it comes to them. Ashish was one of them. When it broke out it school that he was gay (in reality he is not….I guess). He almost cried n almost left the school…LoLzzzzz…. Every tom dick & harry of the school would make fun of him…. Not only of our school…even guys from other schools….LoLzzzz.
This was the time when GADAR movie was renamed GAYDAR…LoLzzzzzzzzz

7. 12th Boards – the war had broke down between Iraq & U.S. U.S was attacking from Kuwait base. We were thinking that the boards will be postponed. But it was no to be. We were writing the exams listening to the annoying missile alarm going on every now n then. The best part was we got extra 15 mins to write the exam every time the alarm was on….

8. Trip to Goa – the people who were there with me knows why I wont forget this trip. It was December 2003. I was on Smirnoff Trip to Goa. We had a stopover at Ghanpati Phule, and that’s where the fun began. I was accompanied by 3 friends, namely Shagun, Nikhil & Tejas. I had gone crazy that night. The next morning majority of the people in the trip knew me by the name rolling stones. LoL.

9. Times at Carter Road & CCD – How lucky am I to get in a college by the carter road Mumbai? How lucky am I to be in a friends circle where we shared similar thoughts, going to college at 10.30 when it starts at 7.30. waiting outside college for friends, asking them to use proxy for my attendance, movies after college, harsh & A1 bakery, the tropical iceberg coffee in CCD, the mountain dew in the carter road, the best years of my life 2003-2006.

10. Breaking in to Spanco – I had quit Spanco but still had the access card. It was vimy’s bday the next day. I entered the company fooling the security guards at 10.30 at night and was on stealth mode till it was 12. then I went n surprised vimy….. I guess she really was surprised ;).

11. Pune 2005 – Trip to pune with Pri, Yash, Shaggy, Shweta & ritesh for 3 days was great.listening to Bulla ki jaana main kaun on the way,
Me & ritesh sharing the same bed….don't even ask about that, 3 continuous nights in TDS,
Dancing like crazy, catching up with Gri n others on the last day of the tour, the cramps I got coz of dehydration, the Euphoria live in concert. The Trip was Awesome.

12. Palasdhari Water Falls – hehe now this was one crazy trip. First of all we didn’t know the way. So we had to find our way through the jungle. Akshata cut her leg so poor Tejas had to carry her almost the whole time, the slope or curve (whatever u wanna call it) where girls were crying saying they cant cross it. Amy giving her chappals to Akshata n roaming naked feet in Dadar later at night…LoLzzzz, I wonder if those days will ever come back..

13. New Years in Lonavla – Shweta’s family was celebrating the new years in Lonavla, so we decided to join them. On the way Pri made me break my new year resolution already.
Partied with shweta & family. And later set up a bonfire in a no mans land. Setting up the fire was the toughest part. Wasted a lot of Romanov n deo on it lol….
Next day morning went to the sunrise point….it was cold but it was a beautiful sight.we even saw camels there....Lol.

14. Spanco Party – Spanco’s Party in Velocity….awesome. the welcome I got from vimy when I went to work after that….unforgettable….lolzzzzzz….. Loo break in every 15 mins….crazy.

16. New Years at Mawre or Marwe Beach – I don’t really know the name of the beach, but it was one heck of a night. Spending the new years eve with sum special frnds rather than going to a pub n dancing like crazy, playing music on a small music system n dancing like idiots, the BBQ, the Bonfire, Tejal, Sonu, Krishna & Thakur….I miss u guys.

17. College Farewell Night – spending the whole day with frnds,the crazy stupid games in carter’s, walking all the way from carter’s to bandra station at night 12, the pav bhaji on the way, the walk through the railway tracks at 2am from kurla to tilak nagar, the ghost stories, the rats on the roads of kurla, the freakiest night in Mumbai.

18. FS a.k.a Fun Staysion – I’ve been a Orkut freak in recent past. I’d exchange anything between 100-400 scraps a day. This was the times when I used to live a virtual life. Surfing through Orkut communities I happened to come across FS. I still am a part of it. The people there are great. People whome I have never met, a place where I live a whole different life. We are planning to meet up in Dubai in near future. hope it works out.

19. Qaiser’s Farewell – 2007 March, Qaiser was suppose to travel to Pakistan for a couple of months, n we had small get together at Tydee’s hood. That was one crazy night. The first time my bro saw me going off the hook, lying on his lap n talking nonsense….. I miss those days.

20. 6th Sept 2007 Party – Back in Kuwait after TYBcom. The first formal party I attended in Kuwait. There was nothing formal bout the party accept the live band which sucked & the dress code which I hate. I had a huge group, and we rocked the dance floor when I was not in my senses…. ;).

21. Good thing Bad Thing Game – December 31st 2007. I prefer spending the new years eve with close friends rather than going out for a party without them. Me n 7 others again at tydee’s hood. Zubair the mama’s boy sipping on liquor by mistake was the moment of the night. He felt as if he was going to be sent to the hell right away by god….LoLzzzz.
The good thing bad thing game where every one had to say one good n one bad thing about all others were turned out to be great.

22. Tiff with Hari – Once in a while I Happen do something of which I’m not really proud of. This was one of those days. Hari is been a best friend to me since school days. What happened still remains between me , Hari n a few others. Nothing is spoken about it. But its somewhat effected our friendship. But no matter what he still is in my best friends list n I hope I still am there too.

23. May 2008 – what do I say about this whole month? I cant write anything about it, but this is a month where I had all the feelings rushed in all at one time. I was feeling glad, bad, sad, guilty, surprised…etc etc….all at once.

24. One year at work – for the first time I had managed to complete a year at work, my boss had taken us to TGI Friday’s. where he actually shocked me with a birthday cake to celebrate my first year at work. The restaurant crew singing for me. This was by far the best surprise i got in my whole life time.

25. Mumbai United Wins – I’d love to play in IPL one day. But that's a dream that will never come true. So in Kuwait we do our own thing. The underarm cricket tournaments. After 2 years of Mumbai United’s formation, we managed to clinch the gold in Dec 2008 in the knockout tournament.

Actually there are a lot more to this. But I guess those are well off with me.
I guess I haven’t had that bad a life. I guess people reading this also should make such a list. At least helps you remember the good old times ;).

Thursday, 5 March 2009

Few random things about me.

1. My friends call me Ashraf, Ajju, Ash, Ashu, Ashaf, Ashi etc etc.

2. I love cricket, and I am pretty good at it. And I believe 20twenty is a step forward. Don’t worry test cricket wont die. Even if it does I don’t care. 5 days is a lot of time.

3. I’m at work from 11am-8pm IST, and that’s the only time you can find me online. I have half day on Thursdays and holiday on Fridays ;).

4. I’m pretty good and average at everything I do. But I’m not best at anything.

Or in simple terms you can say I’m an all rounder. I know a little bit about everything ;)

5. I’ve been playing a lot of pool in recent months and I’m getting better at it day by day.

I also play a lot of soccer but only on PS2.

6. You wanna tell a secret. Go ahead. It’s safe with me.

7. I want to go to Australia & do my MBA someday. Preferably in Melbourne.

8. Sometimes I wonder about technology. How u can use a cell phone to get your voice across to other corner of the world without any wires. I’m kinda sure that time traveling is not too far.

9. I like watching comedy movies. Specially English college comedy. Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson & Seann William Scott are some of my favorites.

10. I don't like most of Sharukh Khan’s Movies. He is just over rated. I’d rather go for a movie of Aamir Khan, Naseerusddin Shah, Vijay Raaz, KK Menon or Paresh Rawal.

11. I like to have a collection caps & hats, eventhough I hardly wear them.

12. At times I feel like I’m a supporting actor. No matter what I do the guy in the Lead role takes the spot light. I always hear them say I’m a good guy but hardly anyone said I’m the best.

13. Not too long ago I had a huge collection of movies that I downloaded but then people take movies & don’t return them, so now I stop downloading movies.

14. When I switch on the TV first thing I surf are the sports channels, then documentaries, then movies.

15. I love music but I don’t have a particular taste. You will find Techno, Rock, Romantic, Hip Hop, Rap, Feel good, Sad, Classic all types of music in my mobile.

What I hear totally depends on my mood or what I hear makes my mood.
I note down the songs I hear when playing pool in the club & download them the next day ;).

16. I hate backstabbers. They aren’t worthy of anybodies friendship.

17. I like to be in the good books of the people whom I consider are close to me.

Mistakes do happen. But I expect them to forgive them taking situation in to consideration.

18. I want to travel the whole world one day.

19. I love India & proud of being an Indian, But I hate politicians & want to kill them all.

India minus Politicians is the super power of the world.

I hate American Leaders. For some reason they think they own the world.

20. If you think I’m flirting with you, think again, I might just be letting you have a good time, trying to get a smile on your face. That’s just me.

21. Love is a great feeling but it always comes with tons of complications. I don’t understand the concept of real love….. is there something called fake love????

22. I don’t know where I’ll be in next five years but for sure I’ll be in touch with all the loved ones.

23. Friendship means a lot to me & that’s been a big problem at times.

24. I didn’t know to speak English till I reached 7th Std when I was put in a English school like a sheep in the big city. I didn’t know to speak Hindi properly till I finished 10th std & finally visited India for 6 months.

Now I speak over 5 languages.

25. Most of the times, I don’t like to poke my nose in others problems & I expect the same from others. If you want to share your problems, go ahead I’m listening & I’ll even advice you. Take it or not, it’s your wish.

27. I hate to live this once in a month pay life. Someday I will do something on my own so that I don’t have to worry about monthly budget. At times I feel I’m a misfit for this pattern of life. I would like to do something more creative or adventurous.

28. I stay active throughout the week. Even on weekends I don’t seem to get enough sleep. I wish if I could get an off every week on a weekday. So that I can sleep for 10-14 hrs straight.

29. Just like a dropped catch when you are the batsmen, life gives you a lot of opportunities, and its up to you what you do with it. So far I haven’t done anything ;).

30.Finally, most of the times you will see me quiet, being funny or sweet. But I can be serious at times & I don’t like People F****** around at such times.